Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity

A provocative, elegantly written analysis of female desire, consent, and sexuality in the age of MeToo Women are in a bind. In the name of consent and empowerment, they must proclaim their desires clearly and confidently. Yet sex researchers suggest that women’s desire is often slow to emerge. And men are keen to insist that they know what women—and their bodies—want. Meanwhile, sexual violence abounds. How can women, in this environment, possibly know what they want? And why do we expect them to? In this elegant, searching book—spanning science and popular culture; pornography and literature; debates on Me-Too, consent and feminism—Katherine Angel challenges our assumptions about women’s desire. Why, she asks, should they be expected to know their desires? And how do we take sexual violence seriously, when not knowing what we want is key to both eroticism and personhood? In today’s crucial moment of renewed attention to violence and power, Angel urges that we remake our thinking about sex, pleasure, and autonomy without any illusions about perfect self-knowledge. Only then will we fulfil Michel Foucault’s teasing promise, in 1976, that “tomorrow sex will be good again.”

This book brings into focus an ecological and clinical frame for addressing the psychological effects of intimate partner violence (IPV) and expands the discourse by arguing that IPV is a complex psycho-social-political-relational problem that must be understood from a multitheoretical and intersectional perspective.

How can we protect our kids online—and teach them to protect themselves? Do you feel overwhelmed with technology in your home? Do headlines about this app or that website make you feel anxious and undecided as a parent? Do you get advice from many experts—but still feel unclear on what to do? The book unpacks the “3 Ms” of parenting in the digital age, a proven approach used with thousands of parents through the work of Digital Respons-Ability and its founder, Carrie Rogers-Whitehead. When Carrie first started working in the field of digital citizenship, she found significant gaps in how digital parenting was taught. Not only were parents not informed enough around technology, they also didn’t understand child developmental stages. Parents’ expectations for their children were unrealistic because they didn’t know how online responsibility changes at different ages, as children’s brains change. From this realization, Carrie developed the 3 Ms—three approaches to digital parenting, based on specific age ranges: Model (ages 0-8) Manage (ages 8-13) Monitor (ages 13-18) By teaching parents how to change their approach to digital responsibility based on the developmental stage of their child, she has seen significant success in fostering happier and healthier relationships between parents and kids, as well as safer tech use by kids at all ages. This book presents Carrie’s approach in an accessible, easy-to-implement manner, giving all parents the opportunity to develop better tech use in their own homes and families, and to parent confidently and without fear.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Now in paperback—Peggy Orenstein, author of the groundbreaking New York Times bestseller Girls & Sex, turns her focus to the sexual lives of young men. “Eye-opening…. Every few pages, the boy world cracks open a little bit…. Even in the most anxiety-provoking moments of Boys & Sex, it’s clear that Orenstein believes in the goodness of boys and the men they can become, and she believes in us, as parents, to raise them” (New York Times Book Review). Peggy Orenstein’s Girls & Sex broke ground, shattered taboos, and launched conversations about young women’s right to pleasure and agency in sexual encounters. It also had an unexpected effect on its author: Orenstein realized that talking about girls is only half the conversation. Boys are subject to the same cultural forces as girls—steeped in the same distorted media images and binary stereotypes of female sexiness and toxic masculinity—which equally affect how they navigate sexual and emotional relationships. In Boys & Sex, Peggy Orenstein dives back into the lives of young people to once again give voice to the unspoken, revealing how young men understand and negotiate the new rules of physical and emotional intimacy. Drawing on comprehensive interviews with young men, psychologists, academics, and experts in the field, Boys & Sex dissects so-called locker room talk; how the word “hilarious” robs boys of empathy; pornography as the new sex education; boys’ understanding of hookup culture and consent; and their experience as both victims and perpetrators of sexual violence. By surfacing young men’s experience in all its complexity, Orenstein is able to unravel the hidden truths, hard lessons, and important realities of young male sexuality in today’s world. The result is a provocative and paradigm-shifting work that offers a much-needed vision of how boys can truly move forward as better men.

Winner of the Healthy Teen Network’s Carol Mendez Cassell Award for Excellence in Sexuality Education and the American Sociological Association's Children and Youth Section's 2012 Distinguished Scholarly Research Award For American parents, teenage sex is something to be feared and forbidden: most would never consider allowing their children to have sex at home, and sex is a frequent source of family conflict. In the Netherlands, where teenage pregnancies are far less frequent than in the United States, parents aim above all for family cohesiveness, often permitting young couples to sleep together and providing them with contraceptives. Drawing on extensive interviews with parents and teens, Not Under My Roof offers an unprecedented, intimate account of the different ways that girls and boys in both countries negotiate love, lust, and growing up. Tracing the roots of the parents’ divergent attitudes, Amy T. Schalet reveals how they grow out of their respective conceptions of the self, relationships, gender, autonomy, and authority. She provides a probing analysis of the way family culture shapes not just sex but also alcohol consumption and parent-teen relationships. Avoiding caricatures of permissive Europeans and puritanical Americans, Schalet shows that the Dutch require self-control from teens and parents, while Americans guide their children toward autonomous adulthood at the expense of the family bond.

Peggy Orenstein, acclaimed author of the groundbreaking New York Times bestsellers Girls & Sex and Schoolgirls, offers a radical, timely wake-up call for parents, revealing the dark side of a pretty and pink culture confronting girls at every turn as they grow into adults. Sweet and sassy or predatory and hardened, sexualized girlhood influences our daughters from infancy onward, telling them that how a girl looks matters more than who she is. Somewhere between the exhilarating rise of Girl Power in the 1990s and today, the pursuit of physical perfection has been recast as the source of female empowerment. And commercialization has spread the message faster and farther, reaching girls at ever-younger ages. But how dangerous is pink and pretty, anyway? Being a princess is just make-believe; eventually they grow out of it . . . or do they? In search of answers, Peggy Orenstein visited Disneyland, trolled American Girl Place, and met parents of beauty-pageant preschoolers tricked out like Vegas showgirls. The stakes turn out to be higher than she ever imagined. From premature sexualization to the risk of depression to rising rates of narcissism, the potential negative impact of this new girlie-girl culture is undeniable—yet armed with awareness and recognition, parents can effectively counterbalance its influence in their daughters' lives.

"A graphic novel about sex, sexuality, gender, body, consent, and many other topics for teens"--

Sociology of Sexualities takes a unique sociological approach to the study of sexualities and explores the ways sexuality operates in and through institutions. Drawing on the most up-to-date scientific research on sexuality, as well as the latest political developments on the issues, this core text helps students connect knowledge about sexuality with their broader understanding of society. The thoroughly revised Second Edition includes updated and expanded discussions of the latest sociological research and social justice movements regarding gender and sexuality, as well as a new chapter exploring sexuality and social class, space, and place. FREE DIGITAL TOOLS INCLUDED WITH THIS TEXT SAGE Edge gives instructors the edge they need to succeed with an array of teaching tools in one easy-to-navigate website. Learn more: edge.sagepub.com/fitzgeraldss2e

The New York Times bestselling author of Girls & Sex and Cinderella Ate My Daughter delivers her first ever collection of essays—funny, poignant, deeply personal and sharply observed pieces, drawn from three decades of writing, which trace girls’ and women’s progress (or lack thereof) in what Orenstein once called a “half-changed world.” Named one of the “40 women who changed the media business in the last 40 years” by Columbia Journalism Review, Peggy Orenstein is one of the most prominent, unflinching feminist voices of our time. Her writing has broken ground and broken silences on topics as wide-ranging as miscarriage, motherhood, breast cancer, princess culture and the importance of girls’ sexual pleasure. Her unique blend of investigative reporting, personal revelation and unexpected humor has made her books bestselling classics. In Don’t Call Me Princess, Orenstein’s most resonant and important essays are available for the first time in collected form, updated with both an original introduction and personal reflections on each piece. Her takes on reproductive justice, the infertility industry, tensions between working and stay-at-home moms, pink ribbon fear-mongering and the complications of girl culture are not merely timeless—they have, like Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale, become more urgent in our contemporary political climate. Don’t Call Me Princess offers a crucial evaluation of where we stand today as women—in our work lives, sex lives, as mothers, as partners—illuminating both how far we’ve come and how far we still have to go.

This friendly book talks to teens in their own language, discussing such issues as puberty, coping with controlling parents, menstruation, dating and sexual activity, contraception, pregnancy, and more. Illustrations.

“A bold, new voice.” —People “A nuanced addition to the #MeToo conversation.” —Vice A young survivor tells her searing, visceral story of sexual assault, justice, and healing in this gutwrenching memoir. The numbers are staggering: nearly one in five girls ages fourteen to seventeen have been the victim of a sexual assault or attempted sexual assault. This is the true story of one of those girls. In 2014, Chessy Prout was a freshman at St. Paul’s School, a prestigious boarding school in New Hampshire, when a senior boy sexually assaulted her as part of a ritualized game of conquest. Chessy bravely reported her assault to the police and testified against her attacker in court. Then, in the face of unexpected backlash from her once-trusted school community, she shed her anonymity to help other survivors find their voice. This memoir is more than an account of a horrific event. It takes a magnifying glass to the institutions that turn a blind eye to such behavior and a society that blames victims rather than perpetrators. Chessy’s story offers real, powerful solutions to upend rape culture as we know it today. Prepare to be inspired by this remarkable young woman and her story of survival, advocacy, and hope in the face of unspeakable trauma.

An all-encompassing guide to help guys navigate sex, relationships and consent in the post-#MeToo world. The world has changed, and the revelations of the #MeToo movement have raised serious questions about how men are raised to understand their own sexuality and the concept of consent. Respect is an all-encompassing guide that sheds light on these issues and more, laying out how men should approach and understand sex and relationships in the 21st century. So instead of simply parroting lines about how they ought to behave, young men can gain a deeper understanding of how they ought to behave. In direct, approachable language, Inti Chavez-Perez delves into the meaning of topics from consent and relationships, to body image, to gender identity and sexual orientation among others, and does so without judgement. Respect is a book for guys to learn from and then go back to, telling you everything you should know and everything you would want to know.

Literature has always recorded a history of patriarchy, sexual violence, and resistance. Academics have been using literature to expose and critique this violence and domination for half a century. But the continued potency of #MeToo after its 2017 explosion adds new urgency and wider awareness about these issues, while revealing new ways in which rape culture shapes our everyday lives. This intersectional guide helps readers, students, teachers, and scholars face and challenge our culture of sexual violence by confronting it through the study of literature. #MeToo and Literary Studies gathers essays on literature from Ovid to Carmen Maria Machado, by academics working across the United States and around the world, who offer clear ways of using our reading, teaching, and critical practices to address rape culture and sexual violence. It also examines the promise and limitations of the #MeToo movement itself, speaking to the productive use of social media as well as to the voices that the movement has so far muted. In uniting diverse voices to enable the #MeToo movement to reshape literary studies, this book is also committed to the idea that the way we read and write about literature can make real change in the world.

A generation gap has emerged between parents and their girls. The mothers and fathers of tomorrow’s women have little idea what their daughters are up to sexually or how they feel about it. Drawing on in-depth interviews with more than seventy young women and a wide range of psychologists, academics, and experts, renowned journalist Peggy Orenstein goes where most others fear to tread, pulling back the curtain on the hidden truths, hard lessons, and important possibilities of girls’ sex lives in the modern world.

eGirls, eCitizens is a landmark work that explores the many forces that shape girls’ and young women’s experiences of privacy, identity, and equality in our digitally networked society. Drawing on the multi-disciplinary expertise of a remarkable team of leading Canadian and international scholars, as well as Canada’s foremost digital literacy organization, MediaSmarts, this collection presents the complex realities of digitized communications for girls and young women as revealed through the findings of The eGirls Project (www.egirlsproject.ca) and other important research initiatives. Aimed at moving dialogues on scholarship and policy around girls and technology away from established binaries of good vs bad, or risk vs opportunity, these seminal contributions explore the interplay of factors that shape online environments characterized by a gendered gaze and too often punctuated by sexualized violence. Perhaps most importantly, this collection offers first-hand perspectives collected from girls and young women themselves, providing a unique window on what it is to be a girl in today’s digitized society.

What this book is NOT: The fear-based How-To on sex and consent, oversimplified and focused on technicalities, that represents so much of our sexual education today. What this book IS: A journey into the Big Questions that will turn you into a thinking person about sex and consent, with the ability to wrestle towards the answers that work for YOU and continue to wrestle towards them for the rest of your life. What is the meaning and purpose of sex? How does it intersect with who I am? Why are people so afraid of it? What does a healthy and joyful approach to sex look like for me? Why is consent so much more than a yes or no question? Who this book is FOR: Everybody!! No matter your sexuality, gender, religion, or race. What could be more essential?

This Handbook represents the first concerted effort to understand male mental health in a way that facilitates a positive step forward in both theory and treatment. An alarming number of men experience serious mental health issues, as demonstrated by high rates of suicide and violent offending. Despite these problems, the study of male psychology has either been overlooked, or viewed as a problem of defective masculinity. This handbook brings together experts from across the world to discuss men’s mental health, from prenatal development, through childhood, adolescence, and fatherhood. Men and masculinity are explored from multiple perspectives including evolutionary, cross-cultural, cognitive, biological, developmental, and existential viewpoints, with a focus on practical suggestions and demonstrations of successful clinical work with men. Throughout, chapters question existing models of understanding and treating men’s mental health and explore new approaches, theories and interventions. This definitive handbook encapsulates a new wave of positive theory and practice in the field of male psychology and will be of great value to professionals, academics, and those working with males through the lifespan in any sector related to male mental health and wellbeing.

"The best book to have been written about the Vietnam War" (The New York Times Book Review); an instant classic straight from the front lines. From its terrifying opening pages to its final eloquent words, Dispatches makes us see, in unforgettable and unflinching detail, the chaos and fervor of the war and the surreal insanity of life in that singular combat zone. Michael Herr’s unsparing, unorthodox retellings of the day-to-day events in Vietnam take on the force of poetry, rendering clarity from one of the most incomprehensible and nightmarish events of our time. Dispatches is among the most blistering and compassionate accounts of war in our literature.

This book explores navigations of contemporary masculinities amongst young, advantaged men living in Australia and Germany. Taking an intersectional approach, the book argues that more open, egalitarian forms of masculinity, such as caring masculinities, are fostered by marginalised groups. Elliott investigates ways in which privileged men can move towards this openness alongside ongoing expressions of more traditional or regressive masculinity. Drawing on interviews, the book explores these navigations and the ways in which they are bound up with themes such as work, mobility, relationships, the privileges and pressures of masculinities, and the contradictions and difficulties of masculinities under neoliberalism. What is revealed is the need for change at individual, collective and structural levels, with care and openness amongst men as a means of achieving this change. Young Men Navigating Contemporary Masculinities will be of interest to students and scholars in fields such as sociology, gender studies, critical studies on men and masculinities, and cultural studies.

One of the most eminent scholars and writers on men and masculinity and the author of the critically acclaimed Manhood in America turns his attention to the culture of guys, aged 16 to 26: their attitudes, their relationships, their rules, and their rituals. “Kimmel is our seasoned guide into a world that, unless we are guys, we barely know exists. As he walks with us through dark territories, he points out the significant and reflects on its meaning.”—Mary Pipher, Ph.D., author of Reviving Ophelia The passage from adolescence to adulthood was once clear. Today, growing up has become more complex and confusing, as young men drift casually through college and beyond—hanging out, partying, playing with tech toys, watching sports. But beneath the appearance of a simple extended boyhood, a more dangerous social world has developed, far away from the traditional signposts and cultural signals that once helped boys navigate their way to manhood—a territory Michael Kimmel has identified as "Guyland." In mapping the troubling social world where men are now made, Kimmel offers a view into the minds and times of America's sons, brothers, and boyfriends, and he works toward redefining what it means to be a man today—and tomorrow. Only by understanding this world and this life stage can we enable young men to chart their own paths, stay true to themselves, and emerge safely from Guyland as responsible and fully formed male adults.

"Good pictures, bad pictures is a stress-free way for parents to begin an empowering conversation about the dangers of pornography and give their young kids a specific plan of action to use when they are exposed to it."--Back cover.